CELEBRITY
Alan Ritchson Says A Vision Of His Sons Stopped Him From Killing Himself After Sexual Assaults
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The Reacher star Alan Ritchson revealed he attempted suicide after experiencing multiple sexual assaults as both a model and an actor.
In a profile published by the Hollywood Reporter on Wednesday, Ritchson revealed he nearly took his own life several years ago, until a vision of his sons pulled him back from the brink.
“I hung myself, Ritchson, 41, told the outlet, saying he made the attempt in the attic of his California home, using a green extension cord. “It all happened so fast, and I was dangling there,” he said.
While hanging, Ritchson said he saw a vision of his sons, Calem, 11, Edan, 10, and Amory, 8, all grown up in their 30s.
“They calmly asked me not to do it, and told me that they wanted me to be here, alive and part of their lives,” he said. Just before blacking out, he pulled himself up.
He shares his sons with wife Catherine Ritchson, to whome he’s been married nearly 20 years.
Ritchson said he sought help after the suicide attempt, which led to his diagnosis of bipolar disorder at age 36. When he was 40, he also learned he has ADHD.
The actor, who has appeared in series including “Smallville” and “Black Mirror,” told the Hollywood Reporter that his suicide attempt came after multiple sexual assaults over the years broke him.
“There are very few redeeming qualities to working in [the modeling] industry. Lets be honest, its like legalized sex trafficking,” he said. “The industry is not regulated, and its a widely known secret that if youre hired on a job, youre basically being passed off to a photographer to be trafficked.”
He said he was frequently put into horrific environments as a model.
“The number of times and situations where I was put in horrific environments where sexual abuse was the goal and the paycheck that you were desperate for in order to survive was the carrot, I cant count on two hands. It was quite often.”
The final straw that led him to quit model came when he was booked to shoot with a very famous photographer.
“I was sent into a hotel room to do nudes with the promise that if I did the shoot, he would offer me a very lucrative campaign for a magazine and a clothing line. I was sexually assaulted by this guy, Ritchson said.
But the abuse didn’t end when he transitioned into an acting career.
He was optimistic about a film fund, but after a day full of business meetings about it, the woman he partnered with threatened him.
“She gave me an ultimatum to come to her room and said that if I didnt, she would destroy the business and she would destroy me by calling TMZ to claim I sexually assaulted her,” he alleged.
“I was super depressed and didnt know how to navigate that,” he said. It was soon after that experience that he attempted suicide.
“I came out of that whole thing asking myself, OK, if I am going to choose to be alive here — a decision we all make, some to a greater degree than others — what am I doing? Why am I here?’” he recalled.
“What I kept falling back on was the meaning and purpose of life as someone who believes that there is a creator and we are created beings, our purpose in life is, without qualification, to make the world a better place and serve others.”
TMX contributed to this article.
